Pre-Summer Check In: Fighting Imposter Syndrome with Authentic Self-Care

This year has been a whirlwind, and that’s putting it gently! In July 2024, my family and I moved back to the States after living in Korea for six years. As a military family, we move quite often, and they never get any easier. Moving internationally is a whole other beast. So much goes into planning these moves, and we did it non-command sponsored, which means a lot of it was on us to coordinate and pay for. My husband was not able to leave with us, so I had to move myself and our five children alone. We had just bought our new home, and I was tasked with doing all of that by myself. There was so much back and forth between Florida and NC while I got the house ready enough for us to live in. I will write about our moving experience in another blog, because that is going to take a while to tackle the details.

In the midst of moving, I started my new teaching job. Essentially, I hit the ground running. I was tired and burned out before I even began. I have been non-stop ever since then. Now, here we are two weeks before summer begins, and I can’t wait! This school year has been one of the biggest challenges I have faced in the last decade. The burnout and exhaustion I have felt have been surreal. I don’t know if I am coming or going. There were so many times I didn’t know if I could continue.

And yet, this year wasn’t just hard; it was full of major highs and major lows. On paper, it looked like I was thriving. I was getting so many compliments on my teaching and for being Mrs. Fayetteville America. People kept telling me how amazing I was, how inspiring, how strong. On the outside, it probably looked like I was Wonder Woman…confident, competent, and totally in control. But inside, I felt like a fraud.

For the first time, I experienced imposter syndrome. It crept in slowly and then hit me like a wave I couldn’t escape. I was drowning in responsibility while smiling through the chaos. I got really good at faking it until I was making it. But the truth was, I was screaming on the inside and holding on for dear life. The stress, anxiety, and exhaustion started taking a serious toll on my physical and emotional health. I was constantly on edge. I started resenting my job, resenting my responsibilities, and questioning everything. I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t feel like myself.

Before moving back to the States, I had dreams, simple ones. I was excited to buy our first home, to decorate, to cook meals from scratch, to garden, to spend time with all of my children, and to finally enjoy all the domestication that brings me joy. It’s what I crave. I love cooking, cleaning, decorating, and most of all, being a mother. Being a mother is my greatest joy. If I could have ten children, I would! So having to be at work all the time, constantly bringing work home, and not having the energy to cook or keep the house organized or focus on the things that matter most to me—those things chipped away at my happiness. Slowly, I became a shell of myself. And yet, no one could tell. I wore the mask well.

Imposter syndrome is real. And it’s isolating. But writing this and acknowledging it is my way of taking back a little bit of control, and maybe helping someone else feel a little less alone.

Once I acknowledged what I was experiencing and sharing with those closest to me, I started to feel a little bit better. I realized what was most important to me and what I needed to do to feel authentic and truly be happy. I am still trying to sort everything out, but I see a lot of positivity ahead of me.

This summer is going to be all about what I love and what Angela truly needs. I’m counting down the days, not in search of perfection, but in pursuit of peace. I’m not setting out to become some flawless, do-it-all woman. I’ve done the hustle, worn the cape, and lived behind the mask. This time, I’m choosing to find joy in being perfectly imperfect. And I’m excited to share that journey with you.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. So many of us are caught in the pressure cooker of society’s expectations, unattainable, exhausting, and wildly unrealistic. We’re expected to work like we don’t have children, parent like we don’t have careers, keep perfect homes, be effortlessly attractive, endlessly nurturing, and always available. It’s too much. And it’s not sustainable.

I’m not trying to completely rewrite the rules, but I am determined to start living by my own. I hope that resonates.

My hope is that this summer, we can do it together. That we can figure out how to drop the mask, how to shed the weight of unreachable expectations, and learn what it really means to do it all, without actually doing it all. Because the truth is, we already are enough. We’re hardworking, resilient women who pour ourselves into everything: our jobs, our homes, our children, our relationships. But we so rarely receive anything that fills us back up. We walk around depleted, smiling through the emptiness, never asking to be refilled.

It’s time we stop allowing that. It’s time we choose restoration over exhaustion, authenticity over perfection, and connection over comparison.

Let’s make this summer about joy, balance, fulfillment, and freedom. Let’s make it unforgettable, for all the right reasons.

Here’s to a season of letting go and leaning in. Let’s have an amazing and soul-filling summer.